As we honour the #MeToo Movement this April, we would like to use this as an opportunity to bring up the topic of consent in our relationships. Consent, at its core, is about mutual agreement and respect in any interaction, particularly in intimate or sexual encounters. It’s essential to recognize that consent is not merely the absence of a “no” but the enthusiastic presence of a “yes.” However, consent goes beyond a simple yes-or-no dynamic; it’s multidimensional and encompasses various aspects that deserve attention.

1. Verbal Consent: Verbal communication is perhaps the most direct and explicit form of expressing consent. It involves using clear language to articulate one’s willingness to engage in a particular activity. This could include phrases like “Yes, I want to,” or “I’m comfortable with this.”
2. Non-Verbal Cues: Not all communication is verbal. Paying attention to non-verbal cues such as body language, facial expressions, and gestures is equally important. However, it’s vital to remember that non-verbal cues can be nuanced and context-dependent, so always seek verbal confirmation when in doubt.
3. Informed Consent: Informed consent implies that individuals have a comprehensive understanding of what they are consenting to. This includes being aware of the risks, consequences, and parameters of the activity. In intimate situations, this could involve discussing boundaries, preferences, and any potential concerns beforehand.
4. Ongoing Consent: Consent is not a one-time agreement; it’s a continuous process throughout any interaction. Just because someone consents to one activity does not imply consent for subsequent activities. Checking in with your partner regularly and respecting their comfort levels is essential to maintaining ongoing consent.
5. Withdrawal of Consent: At any point during an interaction, individuals have the right to withdraw their consent. Whether due to discomfort, changing feelings, or any other reason, respecting this decision is paramount. Coercing or pressuring someone to continue after they’ve withdrawn consent is a violation of their autonomy.
6. Capacity to Consent: It’s crucial to consider the capacity to consent, especially in situations where individuals may be under the influence of alcohol, drugs, or are otherwise unable to make informed decisions. Consent given under duress or impairment is not valid consent.
7. Conditional Consent: Consent should not be assumed or taken for granted. It’s essential to respect any conditions or boundaries set by your partner. Pressuring someone to agree to conditions they’re uncomfortable with undermines the principles of consent.

At Dear Eliza, we are committed to providing a safe space for women to explore and navigate the complexities of consent. Our counsellors can offer support, resources, and guidance to empower you to make informed decisions about your body and relationship. Let’s continue to educate, advocate, and work towards a culture of enthusiastic and affirmative consent. We will continue to have these conversations is necessary in creating a world where everyone’s autonomy and dignity are respected.